PERSIFLAGE

isn't this a nice blue?

February 26th, 2009

Tell me, is there any part of me that is not lovable?

Tzu Yeh

PERSIFLAGE
is updated on Thursdays.

Classifieds

For sale: some suspicious looking mints that I found in my parka when I took it out of storage. Smell just a little like paradichlorobenzene. $.50/ea. or 100$ for all 600. Box 1.
For rent: a cardboard box that has been in the family for years. Actually it is my uncle. $4/day. Box 176.
ON TV: Beautiful on the Inside: A reality show in which a panel of doctors decides who is the most beautiful based on a series of X-rays, MRIs and assorted other tests. This week Rob is voted off after an ultra-sound reveals a fairly dodgy looking pancreas.

Tips For Winter Living- Tip Number 13:

It is sometimes difficult to motivate yourself to go out in the winter. Remember Cortez who burned his ships to motivate his men to stay in the "New World". Try setting your house on fire in order to get yourself moving.

Androcles and the Lion:

A Small Business Venture Goes Awry

Once upon a time there was a small medical supply company run by a fellow called Androcles and his friend The Lion.

Business was fairly good and the two friends prospered but over time Androcles had come to resent The Lion.

For one thing, A. found The Lion's habit of referring to himself in the first person (or lion) pretentious and off-putting.

For another, he thought The Lion spent entirely too much time on his (The Lion's) personal grooming. He was constantly braiding and unbraiding his hair, combing it and flicking it about when Androcles felt he should have been working. More than once a customer had returned a backbrace or truss with one or two very long mane hairs attached (The Lion denied that they were his).

And lastly, he was pretty sure that The Lion was embezzling. Androcles couldn't prove it but he had a feeling.

One morning The Lion received, at work, a delivery of a big beautiful bunch of red roses from one of his female admirers (he had many). He spent a good part of the morning showing them to customers, talking about them, fussing with them and just generally making a big deal about them.

Androcles had never had roses, or any other flower for that matter, sent to him by anyone. Consequently he spent most of that same morning quietly seething.

Because of the enormous level of resentment that had built up in him, when The Lion got a thorn from one of the rose stems stuck in his paw, Androcles did nothing to help and, in fact, off in the back stock room he sniggered to himself in a rather disgusting display of schadenfreude.

Moral:Keep your personal grooming at work down to a dull roar.

C.F. Maynard

aceartinc

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