February 28, 2008
normally the last day of the month
Only a flower that falls is a complete flower, say the Japanese. One is tempted to say as much of a civilization.
Emile Cioran
PERSIFLAGE is updated on Thursdays.
Classifieds
For sale: one pair of baggy pants. Suitable for carrying a lot of little things that you want to keep dry. Special deal for dealers in weed. Box 17.
Non-smoking, vegetarian, political activist, former art student and dog lover seeks partner for support in putsch. Preference for blue-eyed blondes. Box 1924.
For rent: one glass of water, barely used. Room temperature. $1/day. Box 889.
Wanted: odd sensation. Will consider trading my air of suspicion. All serious offers dismissed out of hand. Box 4.
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Civilisation Slowly Improves
It was announced early this week by the United Nations International Bureau of Civilization (sic) that, much to the surprise of many, civilisation itself was slowly improving.
Spokesmodel and public affairs representative for the Bureau, Vert Kernblatz, stated that there had been a 14 percent across the board improvement in the calendar year(Julian) 2007 and that it was expected that 2008 would see even more improvement.
On Monday, Kernblatz stated before a packed General Assembly at Greg Evigan Middle School in Boise, Idaho :
"Last year, more people were more civilized than at any other time in human history. And besides, birds seem to be behaving better as well."
In a rambling and often borderline incoherent four hour speech Ms Kernblatz pointed out that coaster use, a widely accepted benchmark of civilisation, was up well over 20 percent last year.
This was counteracted somewhat by a 3 percent drop in the holding open of doors and a 7 percent decrease in the giving up of seats on the bus but Kernblatz attributed this, not to a lack of civilisation, but to an increase in dimwittedness which was up 34 percent again last year (figure courtesy World Health Organization 2007 Report on Dumbness).
Also the very tall Ms Kerblatz, who holds a belt of some colour in savate, the French art of foot-fighting, noted that there were fewer reality shows in the top rungs of the Nielsen ratings this year.
All in all the UNIBC report paints a pretty rosy picture for the future of civilisation but the somewhat frightening Kernblatz warned the restless and increasingly hostile young audience against complacency.
"Look out for complacency." Kernblatz said. (PNS)
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French Erotic Poetry Makes a Comeback
Due to the large amount (over 3 litres) of email we have received recently we have decided to run another poem by the late great French poet, Charles Roche-Bobois. Odd really since none of the emails requested this.
Disturbing feline sensibilities
I want
to commit
unspeakable acts with you
and then speak of them
over tea,
shocking the cat
till he pads
quickly
out of the room.
Charles Roche-Bobois
Local Artist Helps Out
Local performance artist, Ron Balonbon, has founded a new aid organization, Performance Artists Without Borders.
Mr Balonbon announced that he will be travelling to Third World in order to perform his work: Howling for My Uncle's Friend William before groups of refugees.
In an interview with the Crescentwood Daily Shopper, Balonbon stated "Just because these people have nothing doesn't mean they should be deprived of the opportunity to grow as human beings."
The artist went on to state that he hoped this was just a beginning for these types of endeavours.
"It's hard to believe but some of these people have never even seen performance art before." (PNS)
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