A Sure Sign of the Decline of Western Civilisation

January 10, 2008

I wasn't brought up in the Trobriand Islands and I'm not knocking dirty pictures.

Orson Bean

is updated on Thursdays.


For sale: a sail, formerly associated with a boat. Some sort of canvas. $45OBO. Box 1492.
For rent: strange odour, a cross between basil and Vicks Vapour Rub. $2/day. Box 339.
Need something explained to your car? Call Harry the Auto Didact JKL-5376. I'll set your Chevy right!
Wanted: Soviet era porn movies, especially "Comrade, That's No Pencil!" Will pay top dollar. Box 68 1/2.
Will trade a like-new set of miniature golf clubs (the putter can only be seen with an electron microscope) for any Reggie Mantle memorabilia. Box 334.
Platform Gallery presents Richard Hines. Show opens Friday, January 11th.



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What's Wrong With This Picture?

In a brand new feature PERSIFLAGE presents our own art critic, Karl Kälte, who will be explaining just how overrated most of the world's great masterpieces are.

bigbirdThe Garden of Earthly Delights - Hieronymus Bosch: This is not a good picture. Many of the animals featured are out of scale. Including the whale and most especially the birds. These are very big birds. They are giant birds and there is nothing delightful about a 2 metre tall sparrow. Very bad.

tippyWashington Crossing the Delaware - Emanuel Gottlieb Leutze: Herr Leutze is encouraging very poor water safety. One should never stand in a boat unless it is at a boat show in the safety of a convention centre. Is very bad idea. Also Washington has funny look on his face.

whaaa?Nude Descending a Staircase - Marcel Duchamp: Where to start? Is not even a nude in the picture! Bunch of lines. Maybe person is supposed to be falling?

ouch?Sunflowers - Vincent van Gogh: This is much too much yellow. Why not make background different colour from actual still life? Something against a nice blue, Vincent?

Next time Herr Kälte will explain how most Performance Art is neither performance nor art.



A new cycling club recently formed in the City of Winnipeg is seeking members. If you are between the ages of 18 and 67 and enjoy growing mustaches and wearing hats, hanker for the excitement of falling and skinning your knees, relish the thrill of snagging your pants' leg and yearn for spirited discussions with motorists then why not join:
The Strange Men's Bicycling Club?
We meet every weekday on the Perimeter. We're the guys on bikes.

Butler and Sims

Together Again For the First Time

Fans of bars and fans of taped things will be overjoyed to learn that Paul Butler and Theo Sims have a two-person (obviously) show opening at Gallery 803 (803 Erin Street) on Sunday afternoon (January 13th) between 2 and 5 (pm).

Secret Message For Persiflageans

Hey Kids! A big fan of PERSIFLAGE? Then you know that the site sometimes contains secret messages for the faithful. There's one of those below. Just dip your computer in lemon juice and hold it over a radiator to read the secret message.

Lemon juice and heat are really bad for your computer.