gleefully cashing your reality cheque  

January 21st, 2010

Every man I've known has fallen in love with Gilda - and wakened with me.

Rita Hayworth


Larry's Upside Down Charters We'll fly you anywhere any other charter airline will but upside down!
I am an enchanted prince trapped in the body of a drywall mudder/taper named Keith. I can only be freed by the sensitive touch of a pretty girl and $100. Box 19.
Single socks matched. Call for rates: 1-800-MYSXGON.
For sale: magic wand. Formerly owned by a magical frog. Good for minor spells. Slightly damaged. $4 OBO. Box 345.
Please take a minute to visit: CNIB's Right to Read

The Mystery of the Lost Lenore

Listen to Part Forty

Click on the picture. (3:26)

Or start from the beginning.



Reality versus Fantasy

There have always been, and likely always will be, individuals who prefer fantasy to reality. This, I guess, is a legitimate choice for an adult to make. You or I, rational beings that we are, may find it foolish but if some grown up person chooses to believe in fairies and sprites and such like, who are we to deny them this right?

It takes all kinds to make a world they say and these people, the fantasists, have their part to play in the scheme of things. Someone has to buy all those books about angels for instance. But there is a problem I believe.

The problem is this: how is one to know who these people are? There is a need for a public sign of some sort indicating those who have made this choice. Who amongst us is living in a fantasy world?

These things have, of course, a way of manifesting themselves over time but often this happens too late to prevent harm. By the time you discover that someone you know has cut him or herself off from the tyrannical bonds of reality and has applied for permanent residency in Cloud Cuckoo Land, you may already be married to them or have hired them to do your taxes. The damage will have been done. Some kind of early warning system is called for.

They used to bell cats in order to protect the birds. I am not sure who was behind this initiative, clearly birds must have been involved in the decision, but I find it hard to believe they did the belling themselves. They must have hired someone.

But where did they get the money? I have never known a bird to have more than a few bills. They generally have a little cash for seed and those little swings, maybe a mirror or perch or whatnot but no real money. Certainly not enough to finance a large cat-belling enterprise. The idea is ridiculous!

I seem to have strayed off topic a bit. All I mean to say is that those of us who are grounded in reality need to hire some birds to hang little bells around the necks of all those living in a fantasy world. We could probably pay them in sunflower seeds. I have half a bag here I am willing to kick in. Anyone else?

Elrose Watermuldar

The Beautiful Lady and the Hunchback

Once upon a time there was a very beautiful lady who was in love with a hunchback. You would think this would make her happy but it did not. You see her love was not requited. That is to say, the hunchback did not love her back.

Well, actually, the bunchback wasn't sure how he felt. He like the beautiful lady a lot. He really enjoyed her company. They had many things in common and she always smelled terrific. But was that love? He really wasn't sure.

But the insecurity of their relationship bothered the beautiful lady. She spent way too much time thinking about it. It bugged her.

She was after all, she thought, a beautiful lady and surely she could find someone else to love her if the hunchback did not? But she kept thinking he might. Someday he might. This kept her from leaving and it also kept her unhappy.

One day while she was out walking she met a magical frog. She knew he was a magical frog because he was wearing one of those pointy hats with stars and moons on it. Also he had a little stick with a plastic star taped on one end.

The beautiful lady decided to ask the magical frog to help her with her problem.

"O Magical Frog" she said in an imploring voice "Please help me with my problem." For she naturally assumed that the frog, being magical and all, would automatically know what it was that she was talking about.

The Magical Frog stared at her for a bit and then jumped into a pond leaving his little wand behind. The beautiful lady turned around and went home.

Two years later the beautiful lady married a completely different hunchback.

Sally Kind