PERSIFLAGE

January 8th, 2009

When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.

Jonathan Swift

Anyone who is interested in something more than just life outside actually needs silence.

Muriel Barbery

PERSIFLAGE is updated on Thursdays.

Classifieds

Available: time share quinzee in Whittier Park. Anytime in late July or Early August. Box 197.
For sale: one wizard's hat. Contains special magical powers and a fair bit of lint. $12 OBO. Box Shazaam!
For rent: DVD of an alternate version of Old Yeller featuring a Siamese Cat in the role of Yeller. $14/day. Box 200.

Tips For Winter Living
Number Six:
Dressing for the cold is essential. We recommend oil and vinegar.

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375th Anniversary of the Invention of the Perogy

January 10th marks the 375th anniversary of the invention of the perogy. It was on this day in 1634 that Jan Pierog first discovered that by boiling some smushed up potatoes inside a little bit of pastry he could make quite a tasty little meal.

Pierog, who served in the army of Wladyslaw IV at the relief of Smolensk, decided to treat his fellow soldiers to something other than the samosas he been accustomed to serve at the little parties he held in his tent.

The new potato treats were an immediate hit with the soldiers but didn't catch on with the general populace until the late eighteenth century when Wojciech Boguslawski (sometimes known as the Father of Polish Theatre for his refusal to wear a condom - which in those days were made from sheep's bladders coated in lye so can you really blame him?) became known for eating an entire kilo of them after every performance at the Teatr Narodowy.

Once the celebs starting eating them they really took off and the rest, as they say, is history. Yummy, yummy history.

Snowstorm on Lake Grimaldi

The exciting conclusion

If you will remember from last week's episode, our hero, the intrepid Forest Ranger, Forrest Rainier (quite the coincidence huh?) had just finished strapping on his snowshoes and was racing towards the trapped cross country skiers on Lake Grimaldi.

"Finally, I'm here" Forrest exhaled with some difficulty (English you will remember was not his first language) and hurled the freeze-dried lasagna at the starving country skiers (they were no longer cross).

"Hey, you saved my life!" ejaculated a small woodland creature (who happened to be a raccoon named Morton that the skiers had been planning to eat as you will no doubt recall from last week's episode).

"Yes." remarked Forrest. "Yes, I did".

The End

Unanswerable Mail

This week we present a bunch of mail we didn't feel like answering. It should be obvious why.

Dear Persiflage,
I have long been an admirer of your website but I was shocked and dismayed by your Christmas issue (Dec 25/08).
The Brueghel painting "Hunters in the Snow" used as background for the audio stories, clearly shows some fellows (or perhaps gals) tending an open fire very near a building. This is a terribly dangerous and unenvironmentally sound practice and your readers should have been warned against such activity.
Shortly after I visited your site I was inspired to set alight my own oily rag collection which resulted in the loss not only of my new home (built entirely out of matchsticks with the heads intact) but also of my perfectly arched eyebrows.
Please be careful with your imagery in future.
Sincerely,
Thomas Thumb

Dear Persiflage,
For three weeks now I have been hosting my own podcast on the Internet.
Every day except Wednesday I create a new podcast on the subject of podcasting.
On Wednesdays I create a podcast on the subject of the Internet.
All of these podcasts are really interesting.
I think Persiflage should do a podcast.
Sincerely,
Mr. P. Caste

Dear Persiflage,
I am not quite outraged but more than piqued that you never feature any articles about stoat-handling or snow fort architecture on your website.
I have been an avid stoat handler for more than ten years and a snow fort architect for twenty minutes now and it saddens me that these pursuits have been ignored by the main stream media.
Well saddens is a bit strong. I don't really feel sad. Come to think of it I don't much like stoats. They make my hands smell funny. And snow forts? There's really not much to them really.
Nevermind.
Sincerely,
Wallace Earmark