Your Reliable Source of Unreliable Information

July 10, 2008

Winnipeg Tribune archive photo

I am of course interested in myself and it is against my nature to deny it.

Felix Salten

PERSIFLAGE is updated on Thursdays.


For sale: a very large penguin shaped totem. $45 OBO Box 222.
For rent: a 6 1/2 inch strip of masking tape. Still reasonably sticky. $1/day. Box 9.
I will be travelling to The International Mozzarella Festival in Kuala Lumpur next month and I need someone to take care of my Provolone for the two weeks I am gone. If you have a way with cheese contact me. Box 11.
Feel like you need more animated opera in your life? Well steps have been taken to remedy that lack. Check out: The Loneliest Badger.



Can't Stand the Heat?

Get Out of the Oven

It was Ed Asner who said "a mind is a terrible thing to waste" and he was right but we now live in a society wherein almost everything is wasted and no one seems to mind.

One thing that is consistently wasted is heat. A lot of the heat that we use to warm our homes in winter and toast our muffins (not a euphemism) year round, slips off into the ether (or aether if you like) where it floats about not doing much of anything.

Surely this heat could be put to better use. I mean, how worn out can it be from turning my toast from a light brown to a slightly darker brown (not a euphemism)? Couldn't it be used for something else?

The other day I was in the vicinity of an old range that was sitting idle in a garage as it was no longer able to cook (or bake) food (or anything else for that matter). Now why would it not be possible for someone (not me) to take the left over heat from drying my socks or warming someone's car battery last winter and put it into this stove? The stove could then be shipped to a Third World country where it could be used to bake their papayas (not a euphemism) or whatever the hell it is that they eat there.

Or, this lefover heat could also be stored in bags and then flown (maybe in one of those new airships) to the North Pole (that's the one where Santa lives) where it could be used to melt the ice cap thereby providing more potable (or do I mean portable?) water for people travelling in really dry areas.

I don't really care which of these plans is implemented but something should be done about all this wasted heat.

Mr Helpful


Sic Transit

            I will not, nay,
            this, this
            terrible injustice.

            This horrible strike
            set dead
            against the heart
            and very soul
            of man.

            With every
            fibre of my being
            I resist
            until (O Happy,
            O Glorious Day!)

            I alight
            from the 22 bus
            right on the corner
            of Mount


[Ed.- It is important to note, for those not in the know concerning Winnipeg bus routes, that the Number 22 Bus does not stop at the corner of Mount Royal. It is, therefore, a poem about the striving of the human spirit. Or perhaps not. Maybe it's about some nut. Hard to know really without meeting the poet. Which is not to say that anyone associated with PERSIFLAGE wants to. Quite frankly we've had enough of poets around here.]

The Lazy Critic

The newest member of the PERSIFLAGE family, The Lazy Critic, joins us this week. From time to time (when it suits him), The LC will be reviewing movies that he hasn't even bothered to see. Why we're posting these I have no clear idea.

This Week: Sex and the City

This movie is based on some kind of TV show that was popular in the 80s. The main character is a girl (called Cheryl I think) who buys shoes for some company in New York. She and her friends go on a road to trip to LA or somewhere in California at any rate. They don't like it there so they go back to New York. I give this three stars out of a possible five because I'm pretty sure one of the actresses who plays Cheryl's friend was on an episode of Masterpiece Theatre on PBS and that's usually pretty good.