familiar without being friendly  

July 2nd, 2009

is updated on Thursdays.


Anyone witnessing an accident that occurred in my pants Wednesday when I was frightened by a loud noise can just keep it to themselves!
For sale: two tickets to the new IMAX release of the classic My Dinner With Andre. An unbelievable cinematic experience. $35 ea. Box 209.
Heading out to the lake on the weekend? I am an air mattress who is looking for a ride out to Grand Beach so I may rejoin my family. I can pay for gas. Box 33.

Listen to Part Twelve of

The Mystery of the Lost Lenore

Click on the picture. (4:25)



Looking Smarter Than You Are

As I was sitting in my barber's the other day waiting for my haircut (I always ask for "The Al Lewis" these days) it occurred to me that a lot of people (7) waste a lot of time reading the so-called classics not because they have any desire to know their contents but out of a wish to be be able to say they know them. Could this not be accomplished more easily I asked myself (unfortunately I said this aloud which caused my barber to put down his shears for a moment and inquire of me what it was I wanted).

Of course it can. One finds all kinds of summaries and Coles Notes (do they still make those?) and what not cluttering up the bookstores but those still require a significant amount of reading and a purchase to boot (assuming you don't go to your local library and I'm assuming you don't). Surely (sic) there must be an even easier way than this I thought (to myself this time).

Well, I have found it (or eureka! as the Greeks say). I made up some very short notes on some Great Books and plomped them down here for your perusal. They are not synopses but contain one or two salient points (ouch) that you can drop into a conversation in the unlikely event that it should turn to any of these works.This will minimise your chances of looking like a complete dolt in educated company (although it will not eliminate the possibility entirely - you are still responsible for your tale manners and whatnot). If there is sufficient interest I will do more but here are six of them:

The Aeneid - founding myth of Rome, Virgil kissing Augustus' ass, A. poopy to Dido (Purcell opera), ripped off by Dante, almost burned saved by pals, dactylic hexameters (don't linger on this one - someone might ask)

The Decline of the West- Oswald NOT Egon Spengler, Apollonian/Faustian = happy body/confused mind, civilisations age and die like people, cultures (not just yogurtian) are organic, nobody reads this anyway.

Moby Dick - Ahab named after unlikeable king, chock full of Biblical references, some sort of allegory - make something up it doesn't matter you are doomed to fail anyway.

Catcher in the Rye - yes, the world is full of phonies best to get over it; also don't sleep over at your teacher's place.

Meditations of Marcus Aurelius - a lot of this is actually in the sayings of Mr. T. Stay in school. Listen to your mum. I pity the fool. Just watch Mr. T and Tina and then use those sayings.

Hamlet - come on! You read this in school, I know you did. Couldn't make up his mind.

Elrose Watermuldar

Winner of Letter Writing Competition

Well, it was a very near run thing. The committee that was selected to choose the winning entry had to be sequestered for over four hours in the back room here at the PERSIFLAGE offices. Twice they had to send out for sandwiches. Sadly that ate up most of the money that had been set aside for prizes. As a result the Grand Prize Package now consists solely of an autographed picture of the famed penguin detective Egmont le Manchot that I happened to have in my desk. It is not framed. That "grand prize" will soon be winging its way out to:

Majorie Peabottom!

Congratulations Marjorie, I'm sure that photograph will lend an air of dignity (or something) to your current abode once it is framed and placed above your mantle (assuming you have one).

Hugh Briss

Answer page for last week's puzzle.

all is revealed!

Easily downloaded by clicking your mouse on the picture of a crossword puzzle with the answers filled in. It's right there. Right above this paragraph. Kind of a red line around it. There you go.