I  persiflage

June 18th, 2009

Public life is the paradise of voluble windbags.

George Bernard Shaw

Classifieds

Tired of looking stupid during financial discussions? Are you the only person in your group who can't speak knowledgeably about a "credit default swap"? Why not purchase some smoke bombs from Morty's House of Explosives on Nairn? They're ideal for making a quick exit from difficult conversations!
For sale: one ink eraser. Guaranteed to tear paper. $1 ea. Box 1974.
For rent: oversized beanbag chair. 13 stories high. Answers to the name Norman. Only $22/day but you must handle transport. Box 9.
PERSIFLAGE announces its First Annual Letter Writing Competition. If you are between the ages of 18 and 107 and live somewhere you could be the winner of some fantastic prizes. Simply write a letter to Persiflage. That's it! Winners will be chosen based on some criteria or other. Deadline: June 24th, 2009.

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We like mail. Even of the "e" variety.

persiflagemag@hotmail.com

A Terrible Story

Once upon a time there was a small hole named Ronald. Ronald lived about midway up a living room wall in a fourth floor apartment on Elm Street.

Ronald had lived with a finishing nail named Marjorie but one morning he had woken up and she was gone. Ronald had been lonely ever since and he longed to fill the empty space he felt inside.

One afternoon some men came and took all the furniture out of the apartment. Then another different man showed up. He came right up to Ronald and ran his thumb over him. Ronald was very scared but he stayed perfectly still and didn't say anything. The man went away.

A short time later the man returned. Everything suddenly went dark and Ronald felt himself being filled with something cool and wet. He found it difficult to breathe.

Ronald was panicking. He felt that whatever now filled him were taking him away, erasing him. He felt as if he were blending into the wall. He felt as if he were disappearing.

And then, he did.

E. Sandhut

Listen to Part Ten of

The Mystery of the Lost Lenore

Click on the picture. (:) Or start at the beginning with
Part One

The Armchair Grammarian

Looks at Some Car Names

There are many differing varieties of cars out on the roads these days and I do not pretend to know which are the good ones and which are the ones which are to be tarred with the epithet "lemon". I do know that they possess a rather startling array of interesting names, some of which seem quite fitting and others of which do not even seem like should be affixed to an automobile. Here are a few:

Honda Accord Accord is a word used to denote agreement. At its core is the Latin word cor meaning "heart" and it suggests a balanced interrelationship or harmony between two or more hearts. But as a motor vehicle does not possess a heart but only an engine can one be in accord with one?

Honda Prelude Another Latin root: prae ludus meaning "before the game". This was chosen because this vehicle is ideal for driving to sporting events. But how does one get home?

Chevy Avalanche An unfortunate name. One does not wish to be in a vehicle that is out of control and falling down the side of a mountain. Does one?

Lincoln Navigator A bit of a misnomer since the car is not the one doing the navigating. Even with a GPS system it is still not the car that navigates.

Buick Enclave This is actually quite a good car name in that it accurately represents an aspect of the vehicle. The word "enclave" is derived from two Latin words: in meaning "in" and clavis meaning "key". Enclave is thereby used to describe something that one needs a key to enter. Like a car.

Leonard Derwerthy