startlingly unoriginal  

June 4th, 2009

Was there not a huge rabbit living in the moon pounding away at the powder of immortality in a great crater there?

Bernard Llewellyn

is updated on Thursdays.


Spells and incantations half price all this month at Larry's House of Magic on Pembina Highway. Mention this advertisement and get a further 10% off all love potions.
For sale: two tickets to Paradise. Unfortunately they are only good for tonight so unless you already have your bags packed don't bother contacting me. Reasonably priced. Box 11.
Garbage Sale: this Saturday starting at 9AM 891 Borebank between Lindsay and that other street. Many items including: orange rinds, coffee grounds, used kleenex, plastic lids, outside leaves of head lettuce, bunion pads, combs etc.



Listen to Part Eight of

The Mystery of the Lost Lenore

Click on the picture. (3:19)

Or start at the beginning with Part One

Collecting Art: A Collector's Guide

The other day as I was stepping out of my orgone accumulator, my man, Paco, said to me something very strange. "Mister Briss" he said in his heavy Portugese accent (which he adopts from time to time under the mistaken impression that this is funny - he was actually born and raised near Perpignan in France


and has, in point of fact, never been to Portugal although he does have a poster of the great Portugese 5000/10000 metre runner, Fernando Mamede, in his bedroom


- mind you this is still rolled up in the original cardboard tube that he came in and this he uses to make odd lowing noises in the middle of the night - this too he finds funny for some reason known only to him - if he weren't so inexpensive I would surely fire him) "Mister Briss" he said (I repeat this here not because he said it twice but because of the length of the previous digression - I realise that in this day and age (as we like to say) the modern reader, especially the modern reader of web sites has, as a general rule, a fairly short attention span and when one digresses at some length, as I am often wont to do, one risks leaving behind a certain percentage of one's audience, suffering and much confused).

"Mister Briss" he said a third time "How is it that you possess so many works of art by artists of whom I, for one, have never heard?" or words to that effect.

Although I did not answer Paco at the time (I refuse to speak to him when he uses that ridiculous voice - not that I am saying that I find a real Portugese accent ridiculous - quite the contrary, I find it charming especially so when it comes for the great actress, Lucia Moniz, rowr! (or however one writes that)

I love the Portugese people and all that they represent - although I am not really a seafood guy and fish et cetera (as the Romans used to say - did you know the Romans called Portugal Lusitania?)


well they feature rather prominently in Portugese cuisine, what with Portugal being a coastal nation and all that (I don't suppose that you remember Henry the Navigator from your old high school European History?- and no, he wasn't in your class - smartass!) - and besides many's the night that I have stayed up until the wee hours (3 + 4 = 7) reading bits of the Lusiads to some lady - to this day I still have no idea who she was, she just used to climb in my window at night (this was before I got the security system) and demanded to be read to - but she wasn't specific about what she wanted read, it was I and I alone who chose Camoes, (I don't think she was all that keen on it to be honest) so let me just say this: I heart Portugal) I did think about what he said.

I do have a lot of art.

Hugh Briss