june 5, 2008




Most women (ladies or girls) want to look attractive and/or stylish. and not just to lure a husband. Looking good can be an advantage in the business world, the art world and even at Seaworld. If you want to look sleek and chic you could do worse (although how is unclear) than to read the following tips. We'll tell you what not to wear (they didn't trademark that phrase) and also what you should. Just like your mom but without the guilt (although we would like to know why you never call).

Stop It Right Now!

There are certain looks whose time has definitely passed. Like the hair in the eyes thing. Veronica Lake is dead, people. Not only is this unsanitary but it is also unsafe. You could end up dating someone unattractive!
Also the little white belt thing is done. Especially any belt that has more holes than those needed for normal belt functioning.

Excessive Text Messaging Linked to "Dowager's Hump"

Although not strictly a fashion tip this next little piece of advice will make you look better and more stylish. Apparently etext messaging has been linked to the development of Dowager's Hump. This unsightly deformity is notoriously hard to camouflage. Even the addition of a knitted shawl will not do.

Highbrow, Middlebrow, Lowbrow

The high arched brow is out. Thank goodness we can say goodbye to plucking and shaping. The new style is a straight heavy line running right across both eyes. So throw away your little eyebrow pencils and get yourself a nice Sharpie. Bet you folks who got the tattoos feel foolish eh?

Cheap Sunglasses

Big sunglasses are out. They are just too subtle and understated for the hip lady of today (Friday). If you are going to wear eye protection you need something that makes a statement AND keeps out harmful UV rays. Full face masks, hoods and lightweight boxes are taking the place of boring old sunnies.

From Bundchen to Bustle

The era of the small ass is over! The look now is big and bustly. Ideally your buttocks should form a small shelf just below your lower back. This should make carrying a backpack quite a bit easier. Not to worry, if Mother Nature has not provided you with sufficient "junk in your trunk", bustles are becoming more and more available. Just don't let Greenpeace find out!

And, of course, Shoes

The latest trend in shoes is broomball shoes. Women are sick and tired of tottering on heels. They are incredibly hard to play broomball in. Now that's no longer a problem. Plus they're spongy!
For a night out on the town dress them up with different coloured laces!

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