March 10th, 2011
Our trouble is not the over-all absence of smartness but the intractable power of pure stupidity, and no machine, or mind, seems extended enough to cure that.
Adam Gopnik
Classifieds
For sale: some really stretchy elastic bands I have been saving. Not dried out at all! Make me an offer! Box 30.
Dr. Electro is moving again! His newest highly secret lair is now located at 657 Corydon in the old hotdog place. Super handy for buses and close to 7-11! Come by for a Slurpee and a super evil tour!
The Mystery of the Lost Lenore
Listen to Part Ninety-Six
Click on the picture. (3:19)
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The Four Inch Heel
A Story About a Tiny Jerk
Once upon a time there was a very small, four inches (10.16 centimetres) tall to be precise, jerk. His name was Hogarth but he often referred to himself as "Hoggie" or "The Hog" or, even worse, "The Hogmeister".
Measured by any standard that you would care to name, Hogarth was a jerk. When people saw him coming (and often they didn't as he was so small) they could immediately feel their lower back muscles (the spinal erectors) tense in anticpation of some pretty jerky behaviour.
Rather surprisingly Hogarth had a girlfriend. Her name was Melinda and she was almost universally liked. Hers was a very sweet disposition and there was a hardly a day that went by but what someone didn't shake their head (either literally or metaphorically) at the unlikely pairing of these two.
One day Melinda was having lunch with three of her co-workers. Actually her friends were taking her out for lunch in appreciation for all the extra work she had done in the office that week so they could all take Friday off to volunteer at a Children's Hospital event. Yeah, I know.
Anyway Hogarth showed up at this lunch unannounced. He was drunk and he climbed up onto their table and immediately began hitting on one of Melinda's friends. When she rebuffed him he suggested that she must be a lesbian only he didn't use the word "lesbian".
Then he proceeded to walk around in another girl's salad. When she complained he made disparaging remarks about her weight.
Melinda was very upset. She stood up and her friends thought she was going to leave but she very calmly took off her shoe and squashed Hogarth like a bug.
Actually that never happened. She just sat there embarassed. In fact they are still going out. But I like my ending better.
F. Speeking
Thoughts of Summer
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Or would you rather I didn't?
More lovely? Sure, but the temperature was variable.
Your rough wind shook
my darling buds on occasion
and our dates were long and
hotter than the sun it sometimes seemed;
things decline. Nature's course?
Perhaps, but our summer faded
and my scribbled commentary
can't change that. Night falls,
days end and we grow old.
So long as I can still remember,
I'll smile when I think of you.
E. Watermuldar
PERSIFLAGE:A Symposium
March 19, 2011
1:00pm to 5pm
#424-100 Arthur Street
Please note change in times.
With presentations on: The Potato: Its Role in Persiflage Fiction; A World of Weltanschaung;
Panel Discussion: Hugh Briss: Regular Genius or Super-Genius;
A Reading by Mikel Magnusson.
Plus: a presentation by the architectural team on the New Building!
Registration: $5.00 before the Ides of March $10.00 after. Please note change in price.
Those still interested in participating should register at:
PLATFORM Centre, #121-100 Arthur Street, WPG, MB (204) 942-8182 Tuesday - Saturday 12 to 5PM
Same day registration and pick up of symposium kit begins at 12:30 pm in Room 424 on the 19th.
A post symposium Cinq à Sept will be held at the aforementioned PLATFORM Centre.