celebrating mediocrity with elan and poise   

March 17th, 2011

People who seriously expect movies to be original should find themselves another art form.

Anthony Lane


To everyone who came to my Bill Bixby themed party last Saturday. Screw you bastards!!!!!! Box 389.
For sale: assorted memorabilia from the TV show The Courtship of Eddie's Father. Considered valuable. God only knows why. Box 76.
Middle-aged fat man who likes to talk in a funny high-pitched voice and pretend he owns a cat seeks other middle-aged men who also like to pretend they have cats for... well he just does. Box 24.
Small, hirsute gentleman seeks happy, well-adjusted turnip with a love of meringue and meringues who enjoys slow walks along slightly raised wooden platforms while wearing shiny buttons (and little else! Heh heh!) Box 375.

The Mystery of the Lost Lenore

Listen to Part Ninety- Seven

Click on the picture. (2:34)

Start from the beginning.



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Happy Birthday Persiflage!

Yes, that's right. March 22nd (next Tuesday) marks the tenth anniversary of the very first Persiflage. This is our special anniversary issue because we don't put this thing out on Tuesday as you would know if you had been paying attention.

We are marking this auspicious occasion (as you will no doubt already know unless you are a little slow witted) with a symposium. All interested Persiflageans should make their way down to Artspace in order to participate. There will be all the fun of listening to lectures, taking notes and eating muffins and drinking coffee.

Hugh Briss



March 19, 2011
1:00pm to 5pm
#424-100 Arthur Street

Please note change in times.

With presentations on: The Potato: Its Role in Persiflage Fiction; A World of Weltanschauung; Panel Discussion: Hugh Briss: Regular Genius or Super-Genius; A Reading by Mikel Magnusson.
Plus: a presentation by the architectural team on the New Building!

Registration: $10.00
Those still interested in participating should register at:
PLATFORM Centre, #121-100 Arthur Street, WPG, MB (204) 942-8182 Tuesday - Saturday 12 to 5PM
Same day registration and pick up of symposium kit begins at 12:30 pm in Room 424 on the 19th.

A post symposium Cinq à Sept will be held at the aforementioned PLATFORM Centre.

In honour of our 10 years we present here something hauled out of the archives. Look familiar?

Shunning the Spotlight

Apparently when it comes to bars, if you are anything like the members of the species we laughingly call homo sapiens, you want to go where everybody knows your name. This is only the case if you are generally a good deal better behaved than I when you are out and about. Anonymity is my watchword whenever I am out on a tear. And why isn't it yours? I've seen you when you were drinking and believe you me (I've never known what the hell that meant but it sounds cool doesn't it?) the last thing you want is witnesses. At least sober witnesses.

The word of a drunk can always be questioned. This is a good thing to remember. If the only people who actually saw you on the night in question (as TV District Attorneys like to say) were half as hammered as you tend to be then you can deny everything. In fact, I would suggest denying that you were even there when the crazy stuff happened. This has worked well for me in the past. I just say "Oh, that must have been after I left." If you make a habit of never saying goodbye and just slipping out of parties and bars then nobody can hang a thing on you. Unless they have pictures.

By pictures I mean photographs or video. I like woodcuts as much as the next guy but they really won't hold up in court. I knew a guy once who said he had hard evidence that I was the one who ate all the bearclaws but all he had as proof was a pretty poor watercolour.

That could have been anybody eating those things. You have to be a pretty good artist to make people look like the people they actually are in a watercolour. Almost any ham-fisted art student can make a cloud what looks like a cloud or do a little sunlight effect if he/she is not too stinking but a face is another story.

Name five great portrait artists who worked primarily in watercolours. (10 marks. Show your work.) So my advice is this: stay away from photographers and "videographers" (like that's a real word - ha!). And by the way I did eat all the bear claws.