not really improving with age  

March 3rd, 2011

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Robert Benchley


For sale: baseball hat previously worn by Dar Brogan, the first man to wear a cap backwards who was not a catcher. 7$ OBO. Box 28.
For sale: pork pie hat. Must be kept refrigerated. $45. Box 330.
For rent: seaside cottage. Unfortunately it is the Aral Sea. 2$/week. Box 9.
Items wanted: xylophone with a shaving attachment, pickle flavoured copy machine, hat shaped like a rhinoceros. Box 24.

The Mystery of the Lost Lenore

Listen to Part Ninety-Five

Click on the picture. (2:51)

Or start from the beginning.



Should you care to you may email us at:

The Mailbag

Dear Persiflage,

I recently attended a symposium in the city of Welland. It was concerned with cities whose name includes either a conjunction or a preposition. There was a great talk by a fellow from Toronto, and a nice slideshow by a lady speaking about Saskatoon but Winnipeg was not represented at all. What gives?

Mr. Interesting

Dear Mister,

Unfortunately all the funds reserved for sending representatives to symposia concerned with wordplay went towards the recent purchase of a helicopter for the police department. Don't look for anyone from Winnipeg at the upcoming symposium on cities that are anagrams of phrases indicating drinking in church.

Hugh Briss

Dear Persiflage,

We are a high school hockey team that is very interested in the work of Charles Frederick Maynard and especially any stories he may have written about potatoes that look like something other than a potato. Do you know of any such stories?

The Niverville Nibblers

Dear Nibblers,

Move your eyes slowly to your right.


Dear Persiflage,

I am researching a book on women who graduated from university and then felt like they didn't really get that much out of it. Do you know where I could find such a book?

Pretty and Lazy

Dear P&L,
Sadly, no.


The Potato Who Resembled a Bear

Once upon a time there was a potato who resembled a bear. Actually resembled isn't really the right word. The potato looked almost exactly like a bear.

This caused the potato, whose name was Randolph, a number of problems. For one thing whenever he went out of his house he was, sooner or later, darted by animal control and when he awoke from this unjustified drugging he was always out in the bush somewhere far from home.

And secondly none of the other potatoes wanted to hang out with him because they were afraid, having heard that bears were omnivores, that Randolph would eat them.

These things made Randolph fairly unhappy. That is until the day that he realised that he actually was a bear. That night he felt very happy and satisfied as he sat in his living room watching TV. He was very full from his huge meal of potatoes.

C. F. Maynard


March 19, 2011
1:00pm to 5 pm
#424-100 Arthur Street
Please note change in times.

With presentations on: The Potato: Its Role in Persiflage Fiction; A World of Weltanschaung; Panel Discussion: Hugh Briss: Regular Genius or Super-Genius; A Reading by Mikel Magnusson.

Registration: $5.00 before the Ides of March $10.00 after. Please note change in price.
Those still interested in participating should register at:
PLATFORM Centre, #121-100 Arthur Street, WPG, MB (204) 942-8182 Tuesday - Saturday 12 to 5PM
Same day registration and pick up of symposium kit begins at 12:30 pm in Room 424 on the 19th.

A post symposium Cinq à Sept will be held at the aforementioned PLATFORM Centre.