may 29, 2008



sorry ladies


No doubt you want to know how not to look like an idiot and because you are without a mind of your own, you are relying on us for that information.

Dress Age Appropriate

Remember it is always important to wear age appropriate clothing. If you are older than eight you should not be wearing a bow in your hair (if you are a girl; for boys the age is four). Nothing looks worse (actually quite a few things do it's just an expression) than a man in his forties who hasn't realised he is in his forties. It is best to start buying stretchy slacks and white patent leather shoes shortly after your 39th birthday.

Dress Size Appropriate

And while we are on the subject of appropriate wear, what about size appropriate clothing. Some guys seem to have faulty mirrors at home. The sausage look is not a good one. If you need a can of axle grease and a shoe horn to get into your shirt or pants it might be time to rethink. Fat is fine, more power to you buddy, but fat seeping out through the seams in your clothing is not.


A common mistake that a lot of men make is assuming that the addition of a tie will dress up any outfit. A lot of guys wear jeans and sneakers and think that by adding a tie they suddenly look alright for formal events. This is wrong. Remember, if you are going to wear a tie, wear pants. I can't emphasise this enough.

More on (sp?) the Hat

Whilst it is certainly true that hats can make you look older (if that is something you care to do) and more distinguished this is not necessarily true of all hats. For instance, wearing a toque year round, indoors and out will only serve to make you look foolish. Given that so many men make this mistake now you will just blend into the crowd.

The Bad Boy Look

A zippered cardigan can add a "devil-may-care" je ne sais quoi to your image. Be daring AND mysterious. Bright colours are often more dangerous than neutral tones. Fire engine red, canary yellow or some startling pattern will have the ladies swarming to you like flies to... that stuff that flies like.

Trouble "Down Below"

Unless you are MC Hammer or Erwin Rommel you probably can't carry off jodhpurs. Best to stick with something a little less crazy thigh wise. You might want to bear in my mind that things didn't turn out all that well for either of the previously mentioned gentlemen. How much of that was the pants? Hard to say.

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