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It's a Festival!

I live in a city that thrives (more on that word choice later) on festivals. At some point in the distant past it was decided (by whom I know not) that investing in actual venues was not for us.

The decision was made to merely run 653 festivals a year. That way you would get no, say, Cuban jazz or modern chamber music or Eastern European animated films for fifty weeks of the year and then you would get so much of any of these things that it would make you puke.

I am not the kind of person who can absorb fully eight or ten Ionesco plays in one day. Surprisingly I also cannot listen to zither music exclusively for four nights running. Both of these things (and a number of others) have a tendency to make me slightly homicidal.

I like space around things. It's one of the reasons that I live on the prairies. If I see a tree I need time to digest it (not literally obviously). I want five minutes before I see another one.

It's the same way for me with movies or sound art (whatever that is) or even stand-up comedy. I resent having to jam all my klezmer music or performance art or "new media" enjoyment into a two week (or less) period. By the end of one of these festivals I have no idea what I've seen or heard only what I have "experienced". And that, generally, isn't good.

And now back to that word "thrive". Just how healthy is any scene that lies dormant 96 percent (or 50/52ths if you prefer) of the time? Wouldn't a healthier scene have events springing up from time to time throughout the course of the year? I don't know. I'm just asking.

Elrose Watermuldar


Public Service Announcement

There will be a public service honouring all those who gave up their seats on the bus last year to people who seemed, at least on the surface, to need to sit down more than the person who was sitting and gave up their seat.

The exact date and time have yet to be announced but will be once some more of the details are ironed out. You could just consider this sort of a pre-announcement announcement.

Simone

Part One

Simone was very unhappy in her surroundings. One should not be surprised as they were, after all, unusual and many would consider them unpleasant. I might include myself in that group. I would, I'm quite sure, not want to live on the roof of a city bus.

It would certainly not be without its difficulties but there would be advantages that cannot be denied - the view, the breeze, the soft rumblings of a large metal bed lulling you to sleep and of course, the easy and jovial company of bus drivers, but Simone didn't like it (I said that already). She wanted to move on, or perhaps more accurately, stop moving altogether.

Simone desired a more stationary abode. So, everyday, as her bus rolled along on its route out to the university and back downtown Simone kept her eyes peeled (not literally) in search of For Rent signs. And she saw plenty.

The problem with most of these places was that the rent was considerably higher than the price of Simone's monthly bus pass. That was a problem because Simone earned relatively little at her job. It was a good job, or at least Simone liked it, but it wasn't exactly a high-paying gig.

There were many advantages to working with the squirrels in the park. They were, on the whole, easy to get along with and they often had interesting things to say once you got used to their manner of expressing themselves but they truly had no conception of how money works.

Living, for the most part, in trees and surviving mostly on nuts (which they don't buy,even in bulk, but find lying on the ground not far from the very trees in which they live) they have relatively little need for cash or even credit. Sure from time to time they make a clothing purchase but these are mostly low cost accessories, such as ties and hats, as they never wear pants or shoes (which can be quite expensive).

The more myopic of them occasionally need glasses (which squirrels prefer to contact lenses because of their long nails) but that was about it. They were notorious stay at home types and seldom went to the movies or out dancing. All this is maybe a bit of digression but I merely mean to emphasize the fact that they really had little use for money.

That would all be okay except for the fact that because of their own low financial needs they were unable to understand Simone's desire for the green stuff (as they called it despite the fact that this was fairly anachronistic).

Let's face it, squirrels are not the most empathetic members of the animal kingdom (which is really, in truth, more of a constitutional monarchy than a real "kingdom") and so they couldn't, or possibly wouldn't, see that they were seriously underpaying Simone. This, she found depressing.

September 16th, 2010

Much madness is divinest sense
To a discerning eye;
Much sense the starkest madness.
Tis the majority
In this, as all, prevails.
Assent, and you are sane;
Demur, - you're straightway dangerous,
And handled with a chain.

Emily Dickinson


Classifieds

For sale: lovely white jacket with wrap around sleeves. Ties in the back. $45. Box 9.
For rent: small room in large building. Very quiet and restful. Well cushioned. Free after intake interview. Box 9a.
Tired of being the only one in the room who hears the voices in your head? Now with IVE (Imaginary Voice Enhancer) those pesky audio hallucinations can be made loud enough for everyone to hear. The IVE fits comfortably into the base of your skull after only one surgery and can be plugged into any amplification device using a standard USB connection. Inquire today! Box 9c.


The Mystery of the Lost Lenore

Listen to Part Seventy-Three

Click on the picture. (3:11)

Or start from the beginning.



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